I’ve been thinking about loneliness a lot lately. Not on some cry baby bull shit; not like being a cry baby on social media posting new selfies every day, half nude photos, or lame ass memes just because you cannot find anything in life to make you whole so you use social media for validation. But that’s cool though whatever you need to get by, I’m not here to hate. All I’m saying is that there are some really lonely situations in life that 90% of Americans couldn’t even imagine.
Truly all I’m saying is that it is a cold world; and if you don’t count your blessings you might actually end up being truly lonely. So sit back and watch me enlighten you to how the forgotten look and then maybe you can tell me about how you feel when you get sad because no one wants to hang out with your emotional train wreck self…
It’s a universal emotion that we all have experienced at one time or another; even though it’s something that we all go through we still feel like no one has ever been in this situation. Sure it sucks when you have no one to talk to about your problems with, or having no one to come over and share a blunt with.
I’m never lonely when I’m by myself.
Not saying I don’t like chilling with my friends; I have nothing but love for my inner circle. Sometimes you have to fall back though. People have so much personal shit and baggage that it’s kinda emotionally draining. Brother I’m sorry your momma asked you to clean the house up a bit, or I’m sorry I cannot feel bad about eating meat. I have a friend down the road from me who is banging heroin in front of me; telling me he has no hope for his future or how he cannot text back his dream girl because he sees no hope in them actually being happy.
While most young girls are complaining about being in loveless relationships or they are getting ready to go out with their other single girlfriends; all gussed up in purple proclaiming their hate of the sweetness that comes with this holiday. This lovely lady went out by her lonesome just to get some slices on Valentine’s day. What I’m saying is there are a lot of loveless relationships in the word, just because people don’t wanna be lonely.
I don’t mind going to parties where I don’t know a soul; normally I’ll just go into my camera and not mind the world. I don’t really like people who need people; leaning on another person for your personality is hella lame. How about you learn how to stimulate your own mind with what you’re interested in?
How about being your own best friend?
Shit to tell you the truth when I first got into this photography, the main way people could see my work would be to jump on Instagram. I’m not worried about admitting that getting a lot of likes on a photo in the beginning was sweet. But the more I got into it the more I noticed that my favorite photographers weren’t getting more than 60 likes. While some over edited garbage gets 1000+? I didn’t understand why they didn’t use hashtags to get their work out there. It took a while for me to figure out; but it was that they didn’t need the validation.
Tired and toothless
A good amount of my friends are artists; you rarely hear me ask for their opinion on my photos.
I know when a photo of mine is decent I don’t need someone to tell me otherwise. Sure we can talk about a series of photos, sure there are times when I won’t show a photo for months after I took it. Shit, most of the time I’ll forget and come back to it. But I don’t need someone to tell me it’s a good photo; I’m not trying to sound like, “only straight fire comes from my viewfinder,” but I just know what I like in a photo. I don’t need someone to tell me any different.
Don’t complain to me about your 4 year relationship ending where all you guys did was smoke weed in your parents’ basement; and look at the stars.
My grandmother met her husband when she was 14, and they ran away together when she was 17. They were together for 60 years until he passed. I’m sure she misses him and is lonely. But I never hear her talk about it, or complain. So please don’t talk to me about your small relationship. Most of the time the only reason you’re together is because of the comfort given to you by your parents.
If you don’t know Hannah Wilkes work, then I don’t wanna know you.
I can’t chill with people and edit photos at the same time. I don’t know why, distractions and maybe you could blame it on the drugs and the good times. I can talk to people about ideas for small series, get ideas, but sitting down for an hour or so bullshitting and editing photos… no no no no.
You cannot rely on people for constant entertainment; you need to learn how to be your own best friend.
Maybe it’s just from me living in my intense blue collar environment, but what has always helped me is, you got to stay busy and keep moving. Because once I slow down I’ll start making mistakes and over thinking shit that isn’t real and just based on assumptions.
Beside my companion.
The more I post the more I see that having a blog is a good thing. It allows me to do something with my time other than chillin with people I might not want to chill with, or spending money I don’t need to spend. Also it gives me something to do with my photos instead of just forcing people to see and judge them on Instagram.
Thanks for reading again.